the blog where i complain and tell stories

 well ive written a long post about how it currently sucks right now, but i have some positive and great things for my life after graduation. i can finally do the things i want to do. im going to be a graphic designer. i dont know how it will turn out because im new to the industry, i still know nothing much. its so scary because all ive ever studied formally was architecture. i did graphic design things on my own, i learned it on my own. i dont know where im going to land an internship in, and that is exciting. I finally get to learn! Meeting new people, to be mentored. Live new experiences, a new chapter in life. i think i am finally ready to drive. its going to be scary. but i just realized, driving in indonesia equals independence. its a car-centric country. brisbane isnt, its why i love brisbane. but in indo unfortunately its hard to do anything if you dont have a vehicle. i might crash into other vehicles bcs im a bad driver but oh well i just have to prepare if it ever happe...

it just feels unreal. like, what, really? oh okay. lets go on to the next thing. no rest, no nothing. i dont even feel like celebrating. like, the whole 5 years is just shit. i mean yeah sure good for me that i finished it, but literally i went through semester after semester not because i want to learn, but just something that i have to get done. i cried for a week when i realized that my time in brisbane is about to be up. not because i dont want to go back to indo, but because every semester is just me surviving, i didnt have the chance to achieve anything that i actually want to achieve. when i see my peers, they are further than me in terms of their personal development and career because they are living their passions. meanwhile me, i never really lived, im just surviving each day. i feel like i just lost my young adult years of being a passionate student. i didnt get to learn something that i actually want to learn about. my passion didnt matter for a long time. like, imagine st...